INSPIRATION
Are you tired of trying to keep up with the other parents?
You know the ones...
They seem to always have time to volunteer.
They not only remember every important event, but also bring a homemade dessert to celebrate.
And their homes always look clean. 🙀
Now that my kids are older, I can look back and clearly remember I did volunteer when they were young. I also managed to celebrate major milestones and events important to our family, albeit with store bought cookies. And my home has always been clean enough. ☺️
What helped me navigate through the stress and pressure of trying to function like a neurotypical adult?
Over time I learned a few valuable skills. Swipe through ➡️ to take a look at the skills I've learned.
Sharing with others has helped me become more confident and feel empowered to take risks. I now live a life focused on what my family and I feel is important.
It isn't easy. I still feel pressure at times to "be like everyone else," 😰 but I now have the tools to move through those moments.
Whether it’s ADHD, anxiety, self-esteem, or parental support, I’d love to support you. Curious? 🤔 Send me a DM to set up a free consultation.
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🤷🏼♀️ Should I go?
💬 I won't know what to say.
👎🏼 No one will like me.
😔 I'll feel stupid.
🏡 I'll just stay home.
Whether it's you or your kids, ADHD can affect how we interact with others.
For some of us it's social anxiety, having fear of being around others, especially in an unstructured environment. That fear can cause us to avoid social situations all together, even though we need to interact with others to thrive.
For those of us who don't have social anxiety, we may still struggle due to the tendency to interrupt, talk more than our share, not notice social cues from others, or misinterpret another person's behavior.
Struggling with any of these does NOT make you any less worthy of love, connection, or joy.
☝🏼 Read that again!
Our kids have the same struggles, and big feelings like anxiety and aggression show up when we don't have the words to express what we are experiencing. Your child needs to be taught how to get along with others and what it takes to make lasting friendships. So give your child a big dose of empathy, and then see what steps can be taken to set them up to feel more confident and courageous.
Try reading stories or role playing certain social situations. Lessen anxiety by helping them find activities that are structured and doing something they enjoy. Scoping out a place beforehand, and meeting with someone to talk with your child about what to expect, can make a big difference too.
Be a role model for your kids to learn from.
Share what helps you and what you are still working on.
This helps them feel less alone and that we all need to keep practicing.
Lastly, set your child up for success by building on their strengths and moving at their pace.
Have you tried any of these and had success? Drop a comment below and share with us what worked for you! 👇🏼
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Struggling with how to get your child to stop challenging behaviors?
Here are a few ideas to try.
Ready for more support? 💌 DM me to see if we're a good fit.
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This holiday, when many of you are visiting with friends and relatives, consider what your children can tolerate.
Having ADHD can quickly cause overstimulation, and what follows is usually challenging behavior.
This can happen because of a change in the schedule, new or too many people in their environment, or expectations outside what is normal for their routine.
When the goal is to enjoy the people around you with peace and calm, set your children up to handle family plans with ease. Give advance notice of any changes, listen to their concerns, offer choices so they feel some control, and let them determine the amount of interaction with others that feels right for them.
For example tell your kids a day or two (or sooner!) before a change is happening and then discuss their feelings about it.
"It sounds like you are excited to meet your uncle's new dog, but are a little worried about it jumping on you. Should we keep him in the backyard and bring him inside later during the visit if you want?"
Keep giving gentle reminders that the event is getting closer.
Another area to discuss is how your children feel about hugging and kissing relatives or friends. Let them know it is their choice to do so. This helps kids learn to trust their intuition and allow physical contact only when it feels right to them.
A little planning can make a big difference in how well your child will tolerate the celebrating, and the stressors that come with it.
When you are ready for support and more skills please reach out.
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How many times have you woken up and told yourself, "Today is the day!"?
Today is the day I am going to show up with more presence for my kids, or today is the day I'm not going to yell. Then the day goes by and you did not make any changes, and instead spent it berating yourself for failing.
Ya, me too. 🙋🏼♀️ Making changes in how we behave is hard work and it can also be scary.
In order to begin the process of doing anything new, we need to feel safe in the midst of the unknown. That unknown can be thoughts and feelings of uncertainty in our abilities, fear of failure, or concern over whether we can mentally handle the chaos during the transition.
Try these ideas 👉🏼 to lean into change slowly, while trusting you can handle the ride.
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When our kids need our love and acceptance the most, they'll often show us in the most unlovable ways.
Our kids don't always know how to use their words to say they need us; instead, they show us challenging or worrisome behaviors.
Consider modeling how to stay calm, looking for the root cause of the behavior, and then discovering how to help them with what they need.
For example, your child is running out of their room every night after being tucked in.
Could the reason be a need to connect with you before being alone all night?
Could it be they are fearful, sad, lonely, or anxious about something and can't fall asleep?
Who knows?!
It's our job to closely examine the behaviors to create a full picture of the situation, then ask yourself, what is my child experiencing in these moments?
If you want other tips on how to help yourself and your child, sign up for my freebie in the link in my bio.
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Every day I wake up and ask myself, "What is one step I can take that inches my way through my fears and closer to my authentic, passionate, and true desires?".
It’s not easy, especially with ADHD.
I’ve had many setbacks in my life that stopped me dead in my tracks for years. ADHD has played a central role in my struggles, and yet what kept me most paralyzed was fear and doubt. I was believing every story I told myself, instead of gently challenging them.
What I've been doing for many years now, is intentionally choosing to focus on remembering that I AM thriving, influencing, shifting, stretching, and moving in the direction I want to go, even if there are days it is painstakingly slow.
What I work on (individually and with my clients) is creating a mindset of kindness and acceptance of the pace as we inch toward our goals. Yes, even on the days only one thing is checked off the list.
Keeping this mindset, and staying on your path moving forward, is often the most successful with support.
When you need someone in your corner with a nonjudgmental ear and a few ideas, send me a DM for a free consult. I look forward to hearing from you.
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#parentingcoach #parentcoaching #parentcoaching #adhdparentingtips #womenownedbusiness #businesswomanlife #findingbalance #therapistsofinstagram #therapyworks #adhd #adhdparenting #adhdparent #parentingtips #adhdmoms #adhddads #parentingadhd #misunderstoodkids #consciousparenting #emotionaloutbursts #angrykids #anxiouskids #adhdkids #mindsetmatters #painfulchildhood #childhoodtrauma #empathicparenting
As an ADHDer, have you ever felt like this?
One day you feel on track, checking items off your list and feeling accomplished, but the next day, each task feels overwhelming and you can't seem to motivate or focus on anything. The day feels like a waste and you beat yourself up for failing... again.
What are the stories or messages you tell yourself?
"Why can't I just do it?!"
"I'll never accomplish anything."
"What is wrong with me?!" are a few that enter MY mind.
Now imagine looking at these ups and downs through a different lens.
👉🏼 Could it be that your brain needs more tools to be successful (an assistant, a coach?!)?
👉🏼 Could it be that you are making progress, but only focusing on the negatives because they are so loud and obvious?
👉🏼 Could it be that NOTHING is wrong with you, and you need support to guide you toward a different mindset and offer you tools to help you find success?
👉🏼 Could it be that your ADHD child needs you to help yourself, so you can help them do the same?
Support and education have moved mountains for me.
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As a kid I was labeled as too sensitive, which is directly linked to ADHD.
It was hurtful and caused a lot of pain. I doubted my worth and wondered why I couldn’t be “good.”
I needed my parents to honor that piece of me with curiosity and compassion. I also needed them to see me as a whole person, not always through the lens of being overly sensitive. I know now they were merely describing a behavior of mine that caused them to struggle, feel fearful, and overwhelmed.
We can serve ourselves and our kids best when we remember to look at behavior as a communication tool. They need something from us, yet are unable to directly ask.
Our kids need us to see past their ADHD behaviors and recognize they’re not purposeful and are only a small part of their experience.
It’s possible to shift how we interact with our kids, it only takes a willingness to be brave.
What labels have you used with your kids? 🌱
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ADHD can wreak havoc on our lives. It interferes with school or work, home life, relationships, and our self-esteem. Because of this, it's no wonder we often get hyper-focused on the problems associated with it.
Here's the thing, our minds operate differently. We are not broken, nor are our kids. Society is still catching up to this idea, making it challenging at times, and it is shifting. Our job is to advocate for ourselves and our kids by focusing on our strengths too.
Whenever my ADHD struggles feel like they are getting the upper hand, I pause and remind myself of my strengths. I am very sensitive and notice nuances about people that others miss, I always find a way to accomplish my tasks...eventually 🙂 because of my ability to look at solving problems in new and "out of the box" ways.
Focusing on what I can do, versus what I struggle with, shifts my mindset and aids me in moving forward. What positive attributes about yourself or your child, can you move toward?
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